Bonjour, hello, my name is Glass Joe!
I’m the toughest French boxer that you’re ever gonna know
I score a TKO then drink a fine Bordeaux
And flatten all my opponents like croissant dough!
I fight next week for the champion belt
Mr. Sandman is tough and I might need a little help
So I hired Doc he once trained an elf
Named Little Mac so now I believe in myself
I’m Doc. Hi! This bitch is gonna die
His overall record stands at 1-99
He’s been hit in the head 75 too many times
Now he wants to fight Sandman, dear God why!
His head and his ass are about to go through an estrangement
I think I’ll start making all the funeral arrangements
I have to be responsible and tell him he can’t win
Here’s 10 bucks!
f*ck it let the training begin!
Whoa, whoa, I’ll be the champion
I have the heart of a lion!
That’s clearly not gonna be enough
I've got the skills,
No you don’t...
I've got the power!
Wrong again!
You’ll never catch me I am like the Eiffel Tower!
That doesn't move!
Whoa, whoa I’ll be the champion
I’m building an arc of triumph
That took like 30 years to build!
I've got my beret, my Eau de toilette
I’ll break this Sandman like a stale baguette,
No sweat!
Now it’s 4 weeks later and it’s time for the fight
I’m sad I gotta watch a man die tonight
Do not worry Doc, Glass Joe is built to last!
You get winded when you open up the fridge too fast!
Your weight training diet’s all wine and cheese,
You got the body of a man with an awful disease!
Your arm muscles look like a deflated apple fritter,
And your punching bag is filled with cotton candy and glitter!
There’s the bell, thanks for your help Doc!
Yeah, see you in hell.
This is my moment, Vive la France
All of my training has led to this chance.
I benched ten Q-tips, I ran five feet
I did half a push up, victory will be sweet!
There’s Mr. Sandman, here he comes
But I believe in myself so I have already won!
Whoa, whoa I’ll be the champion
I have the heart of...
Whoa, whoa I like candy corns..
Please put them in my doughnuts!
Oh, you beat the French outta him!
I have my...
My favorite color is seven
No more peanuts for me stewardess...
Godzilla is my dad
The song "Glass Joe's Title Fight" by Starbomb is a comical take on the French boxer Glass Joe from the video game Punch-Out!!. The song begins with Glass Joe introducing himself as the toughest French boxer ever who defeats his opponents easily and drinks fine Bordeaux. He is preparing to fight for the champion belt and has hired Doc Louis to train him. However, Doc Louis thinks he has no chance of winning, and his overall record of 1-99 proves it. He reluctantly agrees to train him and gives him a measly $10.
The second verse is Doc Louis insulting Glass Joe, telling him that he cannot win as he has the body of a man with an awful disease and his arm muscles look like a deflated apple fritter. The fight finally arrives, and Glass Joe faces Mr. Sandman. The song ends with Glass Joe expressing his self-belief but the actual fight outcome remains a mystery. The song includes humorous lines and insults towards Glass Joe, making fun of his French heritage and boxing skills.
Overall, the song accurately represents the character of Glass Joe in a humorous way. It also highlights the comical side of boxing, which is typically viewed as a serious and intense sport.
Bonjour, hello, my name is Glass Joe!
Introducing himself as the French boxer named Glass Joe, who is tough to beat.
I’m the toughest French boxer that you’re ever gonna know
Boasting about his strength and asserting that nobody can beat him in a fight.
I score a TKO then drink a fine Bordeaux
On winning a fight, he likes to celebrate with a glass of French wine, Bordeaux.
And flatten all my opponents like croissant dough!
He easily beats other boxers in a match, just like how croissant dough flattens out when rolled.
I fight next week for the champion belt
Preparing to compete in the next boxing match to earn the championship belt.
Mr. Sandman is tough and I might need a little help
Acknowledging Sandman's strength, and recognizing that he may need external support to win the fight.
So I hired Doc he once trained an elf
He hired Doc, who had trained his previous client, Little Mac, who was an elf, to support him in the fight.
Named Little Mac so now I believe in myself
The boxer feels confident because Doc's previous client was successful in his fights.
I’m Doc. Hi! This bitch is gonna die
Doc, the coach, asserts that he will win the fight easily against an unworthy opponent.
His overall record stands at 1-99
Pointing out how poorly Glass Joe has performed in the past, with just one win out of ninety-nine matches.
He’s been hit in the head 75 too many times
Glass Joe has taken too many hits to his head while boxing, which may impact his performance in future matches.
Now he wants to fight Sandman, dear God why!
Doc is questioning Glass Joe's motivation to fight Sandman, who is much stronger, and may potentially kill him.
His head and his ass are about to go through an estrangement
Doc is expecting that Glass Joe will get seriously hurt in the match, leading to a separation of his head and rear end.
I think I’ll start making all the funeral arrangements
Doc is predicting that Glass Joe will not survive the match and starts making arrangements for his funeral.
I have to be responsible and tell him he can’t win
Doc feels responsible for Glass Joe's well-being and lets him know that he may not be able to win this fight, and save him from potential harm.
Here’s 10 bucks! f*ck it let the training begin!
Doc thinks that Glass Joe won't give up his ambition to fight, so he decides to train him anyway, somewhat reluctantly.
That’s clearly not gonna be enough
Glass Joe believes his heart will be enough to win a match, but Doc thinks it's not good enough.
I've got the skills, No you don’t...
Glass Joe thinks he is skilled, but Doc disagrees and points out his poor track record in boxing.
I've got the power! Wrong again!
Glass Joe again asserts that he has power, but Doc disagrees again, saying that he is wrong.
You’ll never catch me I am like the Eiffel Tower!
Bragging that he is as strong and immovable as the iconic Eiffel Tower in Paris.
That doesn't move!
Reasserting that he is immovable and unbeatable in combat, similar to the Eiffel Tower.
I’m building an arc of triumph That took like 30 years to build!
Referring to the Arc de Triomphe monument in Paris, which was built over 30 years ago, as it's construction similar to Glass Joe's arduous training.
I've got my beret, my Eau de toilette
Referring to his traditional French headgear and fragrance.
I’ll break this Sandman like a stale baguette, No sweat!
Confident that he can defeat Sandman easily, comparing the latter to old bread.
Now it’s 4 weeks later and it’s time for the fight
Referring to the boxing match, 4 weeks after the initial preparation.
I’m sad I gotta watch a man die tonight
Out of desperation, Doc accepts Glass Joe's challenge to fight and realizes he may be witness to a fatal fight.
Do not worry Doc, Glass Joe is built to last!
Assuring Doc that even though he has sustained numerous losses in boxing, he can withstand the fight against Sandman.
You get winded when you open up the fridge too fast!
Glass Joe points out Doc's lack of fitness and hesitance to accept the challenge.
Your weight training diet’s all wine and cheese,
Mocking Doc's unhealthy diet during his training period.
You got the body of a man with an awful disease!
Insulting Doc's body shape in comparison to that of a person with a debilitating illness.
Your arm muscles look like a deflated apple fritter,
Insulting Doc's arm muscles by saying they look weak and flabby, like a flattened pastry.
And your punching bag is filled with cotton candy and glitter!
Belittling Doc's fitness regimen by likening his punching bag, filled with lightweight, fluffy material, to candy and glitter.
There’s the bell, thanks for your help Doc!
As the match starts, Glass Joe thanks Doc for his support and help thus far.
Yeah, see you in hell.
Taunting Doc about their final meeting, if he loses and dies in the ring.
This is my moment, Vive la France
Expressing that this is the most important moment in his boxing career and giving a shout out to his home country, France.
All of my training has led to this chance.
Acknowledging that all the time and effort he invested in training has led him to this fight.
I benched ten Q-tips, I ran five feet
Exaggerating his preparations for the fight by mentioning how he lifted Q-tips and ran a short distance.
I did half a push up, victory will be sweet!
Boasting about performing only half a push up, while being overly confident about winning the fight.
There’s Mr. Sandman, here he comes
Referring to Sandman's arrival in the ring.
But I believe in myself so I have already won!
Having confidence in his own abilities, Glass Joe is already feeling like the winner of the fight.
Whoa, whoa I’ll be the champion
Still convinced that he will be the champion after the fight.
I like candy corns.. Please put them in my doughnuts!
An off-topic statement reflecting childishness, a love of sweets, and leaving an impression of being an unserious person.
Oh, you beat the French outta him!
Doc is surprised by how quickly Glass Joe is defeated and thinks that he is no longer his former, confident French self.
I have my... My favorite color is seven
Desperately trying to grasp onto any statement to prolong speaking to the interviewer, Glass Joe makes an irrelevant statement about numbers without context.
No more peanuts for me stewardess... Godzilla is my dad
Saying a non-sequitur about wanting the mic back by talking as if he were a passenger of an airplane, then claiming that Godzilla is his father.
Contributed by Alexandra G. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
